family

American Girl Doll$$$

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The girls begged and begged to get an American Girl Doll a couple years ago. Knowing how rough my girls are and how expensive the dolls are, we came to an agreement. I would pay for half and they could earn the other half through chores, good behavior, and good grades. Just before Christmas, they earned enough money in their jars.

Sofia, Lydia, and Vivian had taped pictures of the American Girl Dolls that looked most like them on their money jars. My girls had obsessed about their American Girl Mini-Me’s for months. When we went to the American Girl Doll Store, the girls quickly changed their minds and decided upon Historical Character dolls instead.  Different dolls, same ridiculous price.

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The girls love their dolls, but my girls are also very active in dance and sports, so they really only bring their dolls for special occasions. You know, when they just have to have their doll, then ask you to carry it within 10 minutes. Yep, times three. So, I bought rolling doll luggage from Pottery Barn Kids and now we look like ridiculous divas when we travel.

We have every Disney Princess outfit for the dolls, Nutcracker Sugar Plum Fairy Costumes, Historical Character books, and then some.  Imagine my surprise when Sofia leaves me this note that has a math problem…or so I thought. As it turns out, Sofia was letting me know how much money she needed to get a second American Girl Doll, a new outfit, a horse, and some other essential American Girl Doll accessory she saw in that catalog.

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Being the good mom that I am, I just looked at her and wrote my response, “Get a job” with a heart (because I love her). You can see how she felt about that. Still no job, still only one American Girl Doll. I am “the worst mom ever.”

Disney World

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I was just snuggling in the bed with Vivian, talking about how she is turning five soon when, out of the blue, she dropped the Disney World bomb on me…

“Mama, I want to go to Disney World.” Then, she leaned into my ear and whispered, “If you let me go to Disney World, I will let you have a piece of wine and coffee when we get back home.”

My how the bribery tables have turned!

Cupid Needs to Move on

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Valentine’s Day has become a bit of a retail holiday, but I still love the chance to remind people of our love. We always enjoy our church family dinner, our girls exchange Valentines, class parties, lots of sugar, greeting cards meant just for you, and flowers. It can also be a day of disappointment and unfortunate comparison. As a mom of all girls, I experienced my first Valentine’s Day dilemma.

My oldest, Sofia, received a sweet little stuffed animal from one of her friends.  While I am not a big stuffed animal fan, it was from a friend and not a little boy. We dodged the third grade girl drama. Parent victory. Short-lived parent victory, but I’ll take what I can get.

After school, my first grader and youngest in pre-K had a Valentine’s Day party recap. Ignorance truly is bliss, people. My first grader was enjoying the usual class Valentines and party food, looking forward to the weekend celebrations with family, when my youngest dropped a bomb on us. My four-year-old, my youngest, the baby sister, was given a stuffed animal and earrings. Come again?!

My youngest with her big girl dangle earrings from a boy. Definitely a traumatic experience. Parenting defeat on Friday the 13th.

My youngest with her big girl dangle earrings from a boy. Definitely a traumatic experience. Parenting defeat on Friday the 13th.

I tried not to react and simply asked what she said when the brave little boy gave her the gifts. She replied, “I told him thank you.” Another parent victory, she used her manners, quickly replaced with an inner monologue freak out.

‘Am I slipping? Surely I seem crazy enough to scare boys away. Should I have her 6’3″ daddy drop her off in the mornings? Do I need to have more cootie conversations? Seriously, jewelry?! Do I give it back and risk seeming rude? Do I simply let her wear them and not make a big deal? For the love, my baby got jewelry from a boy and I am not ready for all of this!’

I was quickly interrupted by the tears of my middle child. Wait, what?! “Vivian got earrings AND a stuffed animal! I didn’t even get a stuffed animal at school!” I reminded Lydia that it was only the 13th, that Valentine’s Day was only beginning. I also had her go with her daddy so I could take her big sister to get a stuffed animal. We are now the proud owner of a wiener dog with Valentine shorts and “I love long kisses” embroidered on its side…and earrings.  Big girl dangle earrings, given by a boy to my little girl who still writes her ‘y’ backwards.

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Celebrating an Amazing Life

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I lost my Uncle this Fall, the most amazing man whose love of life was an inspiration to all. Experiencing such an unexpected and devastating loss has truly shaken me. Amid my grief, I have acquired a renewed sense of urgency and gratitude. It is a struggle, but I have decided I must share the same love of life that my Uncle Beav happily shared with everyone he encountered.

For Christmas, we gave my Aunt two beautiful pendants.  One of she and my Uncle during our last visit, in front of their “lake house” and the other of them with my cousin and their daughter-in-law at their baby shower. My sweet baby cousin was born a month after the sudden loss of her Poppy, so my hope was to give Sweet P the pendant of her parents and grandparents as a keepsake.

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During a round of putt-putt golf, my Uncle joked and asked me to take a picture of them in front of their lake house.

 

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My Aunt decided to get each of my girls a pendant with a picture from our last visit.  It seemed fitting to present them with their surprise on his birthday. My girls were both delighted and overcome with sadness because they simply do not understand why we lost him at the young age of 56.

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When I asked the girls to think of a sweet or funny memory, my youngest, nicknamed Squeaker by my Uncle, giggled. I asked her what made her laugh and she said, “Uncle Beaver used to say ‘Kiss me dahling’ before he gave us smoochers.”

IMG_5499Before they went to bed, I held their faces in my hands, reminded them that Uncle Beav lives on in their hearts, and said, “kiss me dahling”, then kissed them goodnight. They blew me a kiss, patted their hand on their heart, and told me they love me with all of their hearts, just as he did at the end of our FaceTime only a few days before he suddenly passed away.

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Minimalism and Parenting

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After a week of sickness, parties, church and school Christmas performances, Family visits, and the others festivities of Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  I have decided that less is more.  A couple of years ago we instituted a “Baby Jesus got 3 gifts and so can you” rule at Christmas.

As I have fought the uphill battle of fighting the 80’s child tendency to seek happiness in material things, I am also fighting the battle of raising 3 daughters to not be caught up in the latest and greatest trends.  My 4 year old would rattle off so many things she wanted for Christmas, then not be able to tell you why she wanted the toys.

So, we decided to do only one toy this year at Christmas and the other gifts have to be something functional or an experience.

1. Santa brought a gymnastics mat & we turned their toy room into a dance studio. This is technically a gift to me and my husband as well, because it means no more acrobatics in the living room.

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Christmas morning gift from Santa: a gymnastics mat, just like at the dance studio.

 

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Ballet barres: Mama & Daddy got crafty with Lowes & Home Depot gift cards from credit card points.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. In keeping with the minimalist trend, we gave the girls tickets to the Russian Ballet’s Swan Lake at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. An experience and memory that doesn’t clutter up our home, or cause arguments when time to clean up the toy room. Parent victory!

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p.s. If you live in the Atlanta area, goto the Box Office! Had I purchased these tickets online, our family of 5 would have paid $300. Instead, we paid $155. That’s right, no Ticketmaster fees AND student pricing. Instead of $59.95, the girls’ tickets were only $15!

3. One of the hardest changes to make in trying to rock the minimalism party is instant gratification. (Think about the impulse purchases that you quickly wondered why you ever found them appealing.) So, while in Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving, we told the girls we would only sight-see, not purchase at every stop.

We came across the most adorable handmade dolls and the girls really wanted them.  I told them they could think about it all day, but if they chose to get one, it would count as 1 of their 3 Christmas gifts.

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By the end of the day, they still wanted the Puerto Rican dolls, despite knowing they would have to wait until Christmas morning. Patience is a virtue which does not come naturally to me, my husband, or my girls. I was thoroughly impressed!

While we are a work in progress, slowly purging our home of clutter and trying to discipline our shopping and daily life, I feel like we did well at one of the most difficult times of the year. Christmas should be a time of reflection and family, not shopping malls and perfect gift stress. Which reminds me, gift cards!

I am the Queen of Gift Cards at Christmas. Some people may say it is impersonal, but why just buy something to buy something? Instead of spending hours away from family stressing about the perfect gift, give the kids some money or a gift card and spend time with them. Think about your childhood… The best memories are probably about what you did and with whom you shared the holidays. Make the amazing memories for the next generation.

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My ugly Christmas sweater busts out with the same horrible faux suede skirt every year. I know there will be times that this horrifies my daughters, but in the end, I believe we will all laugh and have fun with it. Who knows, an ugly sweater may become a right of passage in our family.