Weird Obsession

Today I forgot soap at the grocery, so I stopped at a little place on my way home. Soap, I only needed soap. A quick run for soap turned into 2 kids needing to use the bathroom, 1 kid doing Karate Kid crane moves in the bathroom, a request for fake press-on nails and a hair net, and their weird obsession…plungers.

Every time we go down the cleaning aisle, my kids lose their minds. Straight up laughing until they snort as they plunge the floor. Except for today. Lydia actually plunged her sister’s head. Yep, her little sister’s head.

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I can now add, “Stop plunging your sister’s head!” to my list of things I never thought I would say. Now let’s all say a prayer that the plunger was brand new and never used for it’s true purpose.

Just Checking Mom!

Last Sunday, all of the children went to sing at the nursing home after lunch at the local Mexican Restaurant. We all played musical cars and I ended up with Vivian, Lydia, and two of her first grade friends in my mom mobile. In true girl style, Lydia and her friends decided they had to go to the bathroom before leaving the restaurant.

I waited outside the bathroom with Vivian, knocking to remind them that we couldn’t be late. At the sound of the paper towel dispenser dispensing a small forest and mischievous giggling, I popped my head inside the door and busted out my mean mom voice. They giggled, but promised they were almost finished.

I immediately turned to check on Vivian, AKA Amber Alert, but didn’t see her. I panicked and yelled her name, only to find her in the floor looking up my dress. I asked what she was doing and she loudly responded, “Just checking to see if you’re wearing panties today, Mom!” I quickly replied, “Every day, Viv! Every day, now get up out of the floor!” The older church ladies in the booth nearby were as mortified as I was. Thank goodness the girls came out of the bathroom and we could all escape the awkward moment. Fortunately, the nursing home was a success and no further public service announcements were made.

Dirty Potties

So, I try not to be a germaphobe, but some things are just funky.  When the girls were little, they would always have to put their hands on the potty to keep from falling.  I found a little travel potty seat at Babies R Us that would fold up and be kept in a zip loc in the car. It was genius! Nothing too fancy, just a smaller seat with little handles that stuck out where apparently every kid instinctively puts their hands. (My kids didn’t have the fancy padded kind in the link, but ours had handles. Priorities.)

My girls are big enough now that they know not to touch the public potties.  The two oldest can go in their own stall, so I just say a little prayer that they touch as little as possible, then make them wash their hands like they’re obsessive compulsive. My youngest may never be allowed to go alone.

You think she is just coming close to get her picture taken...

You think she is just coming close to get her picture taken…

She is my licker. Seriously, not sure why, but she randomly licks things and people.  I am also certain that she is a walking health code violation.  You know how most kids just have to touch things when they shouldn’t? Vivian licks things. Super gross things like, car bumpers, escalator handles, and dance studio floors (after dance camp), just to name a few.

...then she licks. Yep, she licked my phone.

…then she licks. Yep, she licked my phone camera lens.

She probably has the best immune system, but she continues to gross me out.  Perfect example, the other day we were getting ready for Sofia and Lydia’s back-to-back basketball practices.  The gym where they practice has yucky bathrooms.  No matter how hard the Rec. Department tries to keep them clean, there is always a funkiness to them.  Naturally, I asked Vivian to go to the bathroom before leaving our office. She said, “Nope. I don’t have to now.” I reminded her that the gym bathrooms are yucky and she replied, “I’ve gone in there before, all by myself.  I like a little dirt on my potty.”